Article by Dr. Bill
From Grungeland Headquarters in Seattle, Washington, comes a funnyshoplifting story. (Cue the Kurt Cobain music...oh wait...that's not very uplifting.) Anywho, a Seattle man who escaped police is facing assault charges, on allegations that he exposed himself to a Radio Shack store clerk, brandished a knife and threatened the clerk, with exposure to flesh eating bacteria.According to the fuzz in Seattle, a gentleman known as Anthony Joseph Urga attempted to steal two iPod Nano's, but was spotted by a sharp eyed store clerk. When Sharpeye and another employee confronted Urga, he coughed up the iPods, but refused to open his backpack, so they could discover whether or not he had stolen anything else.Urga then pleaded with the employees to let him leave, claiming that he was sick. They refused, so Urga "dropped trou," exposing his private parts, then claiming that he was exposing them to "flesheating bacteria." Then he drew a knife, but was tackled, just before hecould unfold the blade.He was then arrested and taken to jail, but was refused admission, due to an unspecified medical condition. He was then taken to Harborview Medical Center, where he walked out of the emergency room and into the night. He still has not been discovered.A ,000 dollar reward and warrant have been issued for his arrest.It's all sort of strange, isn't it? Radio Shack really had anemployee that was awake and functioning.A man who is exposing himself, claiming to have a flesh eatingbacterial infection is tackled into submission.He is refused admission to jail, since of a medical condition. (What sort of condition keeps you out of jail?)He disappears.What is the world coming to, when a Radio Shack employee has far more on the ball than the cops?In an additional startling development over the weekend, President Obamathrew in with the folks who want to develop a mosque at Ground Zero. Then, he clarified what he meant and then a clarification to the clarification was issued by the White Home. So we all now know where he stands on the problem. His fellow travelers, (those Democrats up for re-election), need to wish there was somewhere they could sendhim and the human gaffe machine, Joe Biden.The New York Congressional delegation is hiding out in the Catskills, hoping that there is no cell phone service out there, and that reporters are unfamiliar with the territory. They can prevent the question for a couple of weeks, but you can be sure that they do not want to be asked, "Do you support President Obama on the Ground Zero mosque?" Tick...Tick...Tick...El Presidente requirements some assistance on how to tune up his head. And I'mjust the guy to tell him how he can do it, but it could be too late to get any results.1. He requirements to drink more water, simply because I think he's dehydrated,which causes serious brain harm.2. He absolutely wants to be on pharmaceutical grade fish oil. Lackof fish oil is linked to diminished intellect.
3. Berries of all sorts are extremely recommended for the President.four. Green tea would boost his mental alertness.5. Eggs. They would enhance his memory and lessen his fatigue. (Orshould we eat a lot more eggs, because we're fatigued?)Just a few suggestions for the fearless leader.Oh...and don't bother campaigning in New York. Unless Charley Rangel needs aid.
About the Author
Dr. Bill is an orthopaedic surgeon and author. He recommends this pharmaceutical grade fish oil for much more energy, reduced joint pain and increased heart wellness.
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